From 3 to 4

I have to admit life still seems pretty surreal. I, Jennifer, am a mother of two beautiful boys, we are a family of four, our prayers have been answered... My heart has grown in ways I never thought it could. It's amazing feeling so completely in love with two children. Of course I had fallen for Colin way before I met him, but it was a bit hard to imagine how my love would expand to envelope my new love as completely as Jackson.The last two weeks I've been on my own and it has been in most ways a lot easier than I thought it would. Don't get my wrong...I've had several moments of needing to count to 10 and breathing deeply to get through a long day or tough moment adjusting to caring for two, but it has been more than manageable. I have to thank my help for setting me up to enter this on my own phase as rested as a new mom could be. It was wonderful having them here for the first week and half. It gave me much needed rest to heal from my c section, lots of time to bond with Colin without Jackson noticing that I was needing to spend more time naturally with him, allowed for several outings with just Jackson to give him some undivided attention... I could go on and on. I also have both of my sweet boys, or should I say all 3 of my boys to thank for such a successful transition.

Starting with the youngest, because that's always the one who starts off the game... Colin is exactly how I pictured him being with such a calm, peaceful disposition. At this point by Baby Whisperer standards I would say he is a mix between the "angel" and "textbook" type of baby. Of course that makes it easier, but I think what has made the biggest difference this time is my level of confidence and experience. I don't remember every little thing about caring for a newborn, unlike the nurses at the hospital thought I should, but I do remember the big stuff, the things that didn't work, that it's o.k. to not have all the answers, and who to go to get advice. O.K. probably the major contributing Colin factor that has helped this transition being much easier than I imagined is that he is a great, great, great little sleeper. Once he was past his birth weight the Dr. said I no longer had to wake him throughout the night for every 3-4 hour feedings. Two nights last week he skipped his middle of the night feeding and slept for 6 1/2 hour stretches and drum roll please...this Sun., Mon. and Thurs. night he slept for a solid 8 1/2 hours both nights. It's amazing how a great night sleep does a body good. These long stretches are not every night, but even a couple times a week is awesome, amazing, and totally refreshing. Colin I adore you, not because you are easy to care for, a great sleeper, or even that you are absolutely beautiful, but because you are uniquely and wonderfully you and you are MINE. My precious Colin!In regard to Jackson, well like us, he absolutely adores his baby brother. There has not even been one moment where I have seen even the glimmer of jealousy. We worked hard in preparing him for this time and continue to make sure he feels our crazy love for him just as much as he did before, but I think how he has responded is just naturally him. He was so in to my pregnancy and the promise of a baby for so long so it seems only fitting to be so in to the gift of Colin. He has not acted out or shown any great changes in behavior except on occasion being a little more of a handful at bedtime. Jackson wants to hold and love on Colin all the time. For the most part he is very very gentle, just needs reminders occasionally when he gets really excited with him. Oh, there was one moment where Jackson snuck downstairs unbeknownst to all of the adults upstairs and we found him having just picked Colin up out of the bassinet and very gently holding him in his arms. We just about croaked and had a big heart to heart how he is only allowed to hold Colin with a grownup. Jackson has not been given the opportunity to even think about that again, but his little contrite face when I told him he could have really hurt Colin was very telling that he won't even try. One of my favorite things he does is race to the changing area in our bedroom when Colin is crying during a diaper change and says repeating so softly, "Jackson's here Colin, Jackson's here. Mommy's almost done." Instead of having conversations with him from the outside of my belly, he will often go and find him in his swing, in my arms, on the blanket, and talk to him about his day or tell him things he will get to do like him when he gets bigger. Happy tears fall from my eyes several times a day as I see him so beautifully loving on Colin. He is such a proud big brother!

Bryan just reminded me last night that I am definitely outnumbered now. 3 to 1, but let me tell you to be outnumbered by those three is more than a blessing and can I really be outnumbered...I don't think so...ha ha! Bryan, not surprisingly, has been wonderful in helping our family transition from 3 to 4. He was incredible in the hospital helping out with pretty much everything as the nurses I think thought they were on vacation, and then once at home has been my great supporter. Of course he is great with the boys and has been amazing with me. As smooth as this transition has been, there have been moments, I call them "alien invasions", where my hormones have fought for the front seat of my emotions, but I'm here to tell you with the help of Bryan we fought them off. I knew from after delivering Jackson that it was normal to have these "alien invasions" and they seemed to happen at about the same time, two weeks after delivering, but they aren't fun. It's about that time, around two weeks that newborns start to get a little more umphh to their personality, sleep deprivation has kicked in, and pain meds have run out. So while I knew it was normal to be upset about the littlest things, to cry at a moments notice, to feel slightly overwhelmed, it was nice to have my main supporter, Bryan, remind me through his touch and words that it would pass and luckily it did very quickly. I feel so blessed to be loved by such a wonderful man and it is my prayer that I will raise two wonderful men that will love on their wives as beautifully as Bryan does. They sure do have a great example in him.

Tomorrow I have 3 Valentines to share my day with...how incredible is that?!